Begone Age!

I have come to realize that I'm getting older. I'm not old, just older than I was two weeks ago. Actually, to be truthful, I'm older than I was five years ago. I'm not just talking about the physical...though I am...but it's more than that though. I'm actually starting to feel old inside as well. It's not very pleasant.

So here is the situation. I'm at the computer. I'm reading a site that a friend of mine sent me, just doing the looking and saw an article that I like. The problem is that it's on a black background with tiny white type. I'm squinting..then I try not to squint and end up leaning only to squint and lean. Not only is this something I hate, it makes me feel old. It reminds me that I'm only a year and a half away from 30.

So the question becomes this: Does the fact that I'm starting to feel the age that I actually am mean something or am I just having a bad age night? Am I trying to avoid reality or trying to stave it off?

Two days ago my Mom and I were talking about Lasik and PRK surgery for the eyes. She got it done about 8 years ago and she's still a fan. I'm talking about how my eyes have been behaving and she says "Well Jess, you might need to get bi-focals."...........

WHAT?

Now, I'm an open minded individual. I tell people all the time that old isn't until you hit 100, then you can say that you're getting old. I tease my husband because he doesn't want to wear his glasses because they make him realize that he's getting older. Why? Because I have always thought that being concerned with age is a bit of a waste of time. So suddenly when my Mom hit me with that statement I found myself confronted with a plain and simple truth.

I'm a hypocrite!

Here I am trying to help alleviate the worries of individuals who have more years than I that they really aren't old and suddenly when I hear that I might have to get bi-focals I rebel because it means that I'm old-er.

The worse part, I'm not sure what to do about this feeling in my head because it's like beating at my skull saying "You're getting older, you're getting older!" I mean, come on, I'm suppose to be young forever if not in body then in mind right? Right? RIGHT?

I keep saying that to the voice, but for some reason I can't ignore it.......and frankly I'm not happy about it.

Jess