The first book I ever loved and still hold in a very special place in my heart is the Chronicles of Narnia. I remember reading it and falling in love with the wardrobe which opened itself to a very magical place. If you've seen the movie you know what I mean, but before the movie were the books and only my imagination. I also remember that every closet, closed door, or closed wooden item became to me a chance to get into Narnia. I opened all of them with great excitement and frequently greater disappointment. I'm sad to say, I never got into Narnia through a wardrobe. I did visit there often within the doors of my mind however.
While I can't say for sure, but I think that my Dad introducing me to this masterpiece of writing first beyond any others crafted my love not just of reading, but also of writing. The idea of being able to jump into pools of water in the Wood between Worlds was intoxicating. Though to be honest I didn't remember that aspect of the Chronicles until I was older.
But imagine for a moment what it was like to be a child and being able to open a book, any book, and step into such a magical place where animals talked, wicked witches played havoc and lions brought about life.
I believe that every avid reader has the same sort of memory. We always remember the first book that showed us the magic of our imagination and the richness of worlds beyond our own lives.
I also believe that Narnia was the inspiration for my first hideaway as a child. There was a small empty place underneath the stairs of one of the homes I had lived in on the cusp of being a teenager. I had found it and still, despite several years passing since the first closet I had opened in the hope of finding Narnia, I had opened that small closet door one last time with the same hope. As I said before, I never found it, but instead I made my own Narnia. Except there wasn't talking animals, nor were there wicked witches hoping to dominate the world.
No, in my world there were women who didn't dismiss a child. Women who were strong, powerful, and kind to me. My first hero lived there and for the life of me I can't remember the name I had given her. She was my companion, even when I left my little hole in the wall. She went to school with me, she listened to all my music, heard me talk to my friends. She was there when I did a concert and clapped harder and stronger than anyone in the audience. I confided all my secrets to her and she gave me the strength to grow.
I have since outgrown the childish fantasy of her as my friend. Now, she's my favorite character of all that I have created. I measure all of them to her. She is my muse, my inspiration and at the age of fourteen I finally called her Lady Nyx. A fitting name, a grown up named coming from a mind of (or so I believed at the time) a grown-up mentality. Yet, even now that I'm 30, there is no other name I can give her that would fit quite the same way.
Still, when I think of her, I always remember I found her when I couldn't find my beloved Narnia. I'm much too old to be searching for wardrobes, closet, pictures, or little rings to that could pull me from one world to the next. Instead, I look to the Chronicles themselves, opening the pages and absorbing the words as if it was the first time all over again. I'm that little girl sitting on my Dad's knee listening to him weave the words into a magical world that only I could see.
It's my turn now to take the place of my father as I open the first pages and weave them for my children in the hope of sharing with them the first magical gift I ever received. While I will never tell my children this, I hope one day to find them to be opening every closet, closed door, or closed wooden item in the hopes of finding their version of Narnia. In fact, I hope that all the children of today do the same and never stop believing in magic.
Tuesday 31 August 2010
Saturday 28 August 2010
Ranting!
Okay, this should be short....I hope. I just have to get it out of my skull before I collapse in my bed.
Memory Lane! Curse you. Once again, my book is haunting me. I kid you not, I'm in the car today and all I was thinking about was Memory Lane. I had to get my house ready for a guest who never showed and I was cursing about the fact that I couldn't write in Memory Lane. I was driving to an appointment and I was irritated because I'd rather be writing and I won't even get into how the kids kept me from doing it. Then, just to make it worse, my goal of cutting out enough words to have it at the 89,000 words mark failed unless I can find some relief in the first four chapters which I just now remembered weren't subjected to my carving knife.
ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Will this torture never end??????
I think what makes it all the more difficult is that I really like my book. It brought me to tears yesterday in fact. I kid you not, I was reading a powerfully emotional chapter and wanted to bawl like a baby. I didn't, can't imagine explaining that to my kids. No, no, don't want that. Of course, it's a good sign that I wanted to cry, but also a bad sign because I can't be sure if I'm crying because it's emotionally provoking or because I wrote the damn thing.
One last thing about Memory Lane. The biggest crux of all in my opinion. This book has a lot of swearing. When I say a lot, I mean it. I think there is at least one cuss word in every scene. So what happens when I get into the mind of Alex? I start to cuss about EVERYTHING. This is, of course bad, especially considering that the kids are with me all the freaking time. So I have to bite my tongue throughout the day. It's a shock that I don't have permanent grooves in my tongue from the effort.
Anyway, that's where I'm at now. I'm going to carve up the Epilogue then attack Chapters 1 - 5 to inch me closer to my goal word count. Which of course will cause me to have to do the most painful of all things, cut out complete scenes. Just writing it makes me want to bang my head against the keyboard fruitlessly.
And through it all, the only thing I keep thinking is that, I asked for it. I want to do it despite the emotional, mental and physical stress it is putting me through. (On the positive side, I've yet to have a flare up from my wrist....now hopefully I don't jinx myself).
So that's my rant for the night. Damn Memory Lane!
Memory Lane! Curse you. Once again, my book is haunting me. I kid you not, I'm in the car today and all I was thinking about was Memory Lane. I had to get my house ready for a guest who never showed and I was cursing about the fact that I couldn't write in Memory Lane. I was driving to an appointment and I was irritated because I'd rather be writing and I won't even get into how the kids kept me from doing it. Then, just to make it worse, my goal of cutting out enough words to have it at the 89,000 words mark failed unless I can find some relief in the first four chapters which I just now remembered weren't subjected to my carving knife.
ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Will this torture never end??????
I think what makes it all the more difficult is that I really like my book. It brought me to tears yesterday in fact. I kid you not, I was reading a powerfully emotional chapter and wanted to bawl like a baby. I didn't, can't imagine explaining that to my kids. No, no, don't want that. Of course, it's a good sign that I wanted to cry, but also a bad sign because I can't be sure if I'm crying because it's emotionally provoking or because I wrote the damn thing.
One last thing about Memory Lane. The biggest crux of all in my opinion. This book has a lot of swearing. When I say a lot, I mean it. I think there is at least one cuss word in every scene. So what happens when I get into the mind of Alex? I start to cuss about EVERYTHING. This is, of course bad, especially considering that the kids are with me all the freaking time. So I have to bite my tongue throughout the day. It's a shock that I don't have permanent grooves in my tongue from the effort.
Anyway, that's where I'm at now. I'm going to carve up the Epilogue then attack Chapters 1 - 5 to inch me closer to my goal word count. Which of course will cause me to have to do the most painful of all things, cut out complete scenes. Just writing it makes me want to bang my head against the keyboard fruitlessly.
And through it all, the only thing I keep thinking is that, I asked for it. I want to do it despite the emotional, mental and physical stress it is putting me through. (On the positive side, I've yet to have a flare up from my wrist....now hopefully I don't jinx myself).
So that's my rant for the night. Damn Memory Lane!
Wednesday 25 August 2010
I nailed it....I hope
Tonight I think I finally nailed my query letter. I'm actually, gasp, happy with it. I just hope it works out. Now all I need to do is finish editing the fourth draft, cut out close to 25,000 words *sob*, get it proofread then actually send the blasted thing off to get rejected a dozen so times before I can celebrate the victory of an agent which will then lead to the victor of publishing and starting all over again. YAY!
Sweet Mother, it seems like a long, long, long, long road until I get there. Writing. I remember back when I was 14 and I was swept up into the enthusiasm Mrs. Farrell brought about with her encouragement. I was going to be the next Tolkien. I knew I would be. Now look at me, I'm 30 (no sympathy please because I honestly don't mind it at all) and I'm stilling whining about how much further I have to go.
Well, at least I finished the book...mostly. On Fan Story I've been getting good reviews with great pointers and help from the peanut gallery (and I do mean it in the nicest of ways, honest). And these are complete strangers who have no affiliation with me personally other than a love for the written word so that's something. It can't be all bad. And people tell me that they are writing my name down when I give them a brief synopsis of the book so that when it does get published they'll buy it. We'll see how many actually do so when it does happen.
I have decided to start thinking of it as when instead of if. I made that decision because I figured my semi-pessimistic attitude was getting in my way. That conclusion came about from AJJE Games surprisingly enough. How did it happen? Easy. I had to give a speech (actually it was a long post) and in it I talked about a gentleman who taught me that idealism can push projects through. That got me thinking about that particular lesson.
I'm the first to admit, I don't prescribe to idealism. Too many things in my life have shown me that being idealistic just disappoints you. I could give examples, but I'm feeling pretty darn good about my progress that I don't want to go down that avenue. Maybe later..naw, on second thought never mind.
Anyway, as I get older I am coming to the terms to the reality of how I look at life. I'm cynical, but not overly much. I'm not one to trust people either. I actually, to be perfectly honest, I expect people to disappoint me all the time. Why? Because it consistently happens. I've yet to find the exception. If I do I'll probably put it here. But I started thinking that maybe, just maybe, I have to let go of that attitude. Oh, I don't mean actually trusting everyone that I come across. That's too ingrained to just fade away on a gust of wind. No, sadly, I'm stuck in that principle belief pattern. However, I need to give myself and fate a try. I think, just once, I want something to be the ideal instead of the disappointment or reality...which is often both anyway.
So, today...or more aptly, this night, I make a vow. I will think positively. I will shoot not just for the moon but for my favorite planet (okay, they don't call it a planet any more but I'm going to keep doing it because it's special to me personally so pppppbbtttttttttt) Pluto. I want the cosmos and frankly my dear, I don't give a damn about anyone who says that I don't deserve it.
And that is how I nailed it in regard to my letter. I said that to myself and then I just wrote it up. I've been saying it all week with my writing and managed to crank through about 8 chapters so far. Tomorrow I'm aiming for 9. That, incidentally, is the other secret of my success. Every day I have to complete a task. Read over at least 5000 words and do my thing. If I don't get it done in the morning, I work on it through the day. Period, no if, and, or buts.
Sweet Mother, it seems like a long, long, long, long road until I get there. Writing. I remember back when I was 14 and I was swept up into the enthusiasm Mrs. Farrell brought about with her encouragement. I was going to be the next Tolkien. I knew I would be. Now look at me, I'm 30 (no sympathy please because I honestly don't mind it at all) and I'm stilling whining about how much further I have to go.
Well, at least I finished the book...mostly. On Fan Story I've been getting good reviews with great pointers and help from the peanut gallery (and I do mean it in the nicest of ways, honest). And these are complete strangers who have no affiliation with me personally other than a love for the written word so that's something. It can't be all bad. And people tell me that they are writing my name down when I give them a brief synopsis of the book so that when it does get published they'll buy it. We'll see how many actually do so when it does happen.
I have decided to start thinking of it as when instead of if. I made that decision because I figured my semi-pessimistic attitude was getting in my way. That conclusion came about from AJJE Games surprisingly enough. How did it happen? Easy. I had to give a speech (actually it was a long post) and in it I talked about a gentleman who taught me that idealism can push projects through. That got me thinking about that particular lesson.
I'm the first to admit, I don't prescribe to idealism. Too many things in my life have shown me that being idealistic just disappoints you. I could give examples, but I'm feeling pretty darn good about my progress that I don't want to go down that avenue. Maybe later..naw, on second thought never mind.
Anyway, as I get older I am coming to the terms to the reality of how I look at life. I'm cynical, but not overly much. I'm not one to trust people either. I actually, to be perfectly honest, I expect people to disappoint me all the time. Why? Because it consistently happens. I've yet to find the exception. If I do I'll probably put it here. But I started thinking that maybe, just maybe, I have to let go of that attitude. Oh, I don't mean actually trusting everyone that I come across. That's too ingrained to just fade away on a gust of wind. No, sadly, I'm stuck in that principle belief pattern. However, I need to give myself and fate a try. I think, just once, I want something to be the ideal instead of the disappointment or reality...which is often both anyway.
So, today...or more aptly, this night, I make a vow. I will think positively. I will shoot not just for the moon but for my favorite planet (okay, they don't call it a planet any more but I'm going to keep doing it because it's special to me personally so pppppbbtttttttttt) Pluto. I want the cosmos and frankly my dear, I don't give a damn about anyone who says that I don't deserve it.
And that is how I nailed it in regard to my letter. I said that to myself and then I just wrote it up. I've been saying it all week with my writing and managed to crank through about 8 chapters so far. Tomorrow I'm aiming for 9. That, incidentally, is the other secret of my success. Every day I have to complete a task. Read over at least 5000 words and do my thing. If I don't get it done in the morning, I work on it through the day. Period, no if, and, or buts.
Saturday 21 August 2010
Fear
You know, I'm one of those people who refuses to admit, out loud anyway, an honest fear. I find if I don't say it, I'm not. Like roller coasters for instance. I hate them, but not because I'm afraid of them. I hate them because I'm not in control of them. Does that make me a control freak? Sometimes, yes, I am. I'm a control freak in the car (I hate not driving). I'm a control freak when it comes to projects I'm personally involved in. When I was working, I didn't want to let go of the Hazardous Waste program because it was mine. I built it and I made it work so it was mine.....I could go on but I think you get the point.
So, admitting that I'm afraid of something is huge. Not just huge, but gargantuan. But again, I have found that sometimes true honesty means saying "I'm afraid." So, now, in a blog no one reads, I will say it...I'm afraid.
What do I fear? I'm afraid that the dream that I've aspired for since I was 14 will never come true. I'm terrified that I won't get published, that my writing isn't good enough to be published. That one day I'll have to give it up. It leaves me quaking, this fear. In thinking about it, I realize that my fear is what has caused me not to get off my ass and actually do what has to be done to make it possible. I have to send query letters out, to see if I have any takers. Until I do, I'll never know the answer.
It's hard for me to admit that, to accept this truth about myself. The thing is, I don't know why I can't pull myself out of it. To just grab myself by the nose hairs and get it done. It's not like me to feel this doubt in regard to anything that I've had to use my mind to pursue. I don't want to sound egotistical or anything like that, but truthfully using my mind to accomplish tasks is not that difficult for me.
I breeze through school with little to no effort (which is funny because I didn't do that well in High School). Mastering art and design has been simple, teaching myself to code equally so. What I succeed at mentally is directly countered in what I fail at in the physical department. Exercise and sports are really not my forte. Proof of this comes from how many injuries I've sustained over the years of attempting it when I was a kid. So in that I am balanced. I have also accepted that when I make up my mind to accomplish something, it's not that difficult either. A great example is to stop drinking sodas. I decided to stop and did it. Except for the first day, I don't have any cravings for it so that is good.
Yet, despite that, I'm afraid of putting myself out there. A part of me knows the reason, it's because I don't want to be rejected. That is probably the biggest struggle I've had all my life. The idea of it makes me nauseous, which is probably the source of this fear.
The question is, how do I push past it? If I ever figure it out, I'll write it here....
So, admitting that I'm afraid of something is huge. Not just huge, but gargantuan. But again, I have found that sometimes true honesty means saying "I'm afraid." So, now, in a blog no one reads, I will say it...I'm afraid.
What do I fear? I'm afraid that the dream that I've aspired for since I was 14 will never come true. I'm terrified that I won't get published, that my writing isn't good enough to be published. That one day I'll have to give it up. It leaves me quaking, this fear. In thinking about it, I realize that my fear is what has caused me not to get off my ass and actually do what has to be done to make it possible. I have to send query letters out, to see if I have any takers. Until I do, I'll never know the answer.
It's hard for me to admit that, to accept this truth about myself. The thing is, I don't know why I can't pull myself out of it. To just grab myself by the nose hairs and get it done. It's not like me to feel this doubt in regard to anything that I've had to use my mind to pursue. I don't want to sound egotistical or anything like that, but truthfully using my mind to accomplish tasks is not that difficult for me.
I breeze through school with little to no effort (which is funny because I didn't do that well in High School). Mastering art and design has been simple, teaching myself to code equally so. What I succeed at mentally is directly countered in what I fail at in the physical department. Exercise and sports are really not my forte. Proof of this comes from how many injuries I've sustained over the years of attempting it when I was a kid. So in that I am balanced. I have also accepted that when I make up my mind to accomplish something, it's not that difficult either. A great example is to stop drinking sodas. I decided to stop and did it. Except for the first day, I don't have any cravings for it so that is good.
Yet, despite that, I'm afraid of putting myself out there. A part of me knows the reason, it's because I don't want to be rejected. That is probably the biggest struggle I've had all my life. The idea of it makes me nauseous, which is probably the source of this fear.
The question is, how do I push past it? If I ever figure it out, I'll write it here....
Wednesday 18 August 2010
What inspires
When I was a kid, one of the first cartoons I adored was not Strawberry Shortcake or the Care Bears. Nor was I influenced by Tom and Jerry, Bugs Bunny or Daffy Duck. No, my favorite of all favorite movies was The Last Unicorn. I don't remember being fascinated with Unicorns at the time. I also don't remember when I first saw it. But I do remember how much I loved it and when I saw it out on DVD for my kids a few years ago I picked it up without hesitation. I knew that I had to share it with them. Yet, despite the years and the amount of times I have watched this beloved classic of mine, not once did I fully comprehend how much I was inspired and influenced by it.
Until tonight.
As a treat, I told the kids that I would watch one of their movies with them. I do this frequently when I've finished all my work and they've behaved for the day. Today they went beyond good behavior because when I sat down to do some writing, they didn't stay downstairs and disturb me with their play or with their questions. Instead, without any prompting for me, decided to play upstairs. I was so proud and thankful for their thoughtfulness, I decided to watch a movie with them. My daughter chose The Last Unicorn as she is at the age of adoring those wonderful and magical animals.
And I watched every second, mesmerized by the beauty of it and the story, the magic that shows us not only that we can fight against what frightens us, but that change proves to help us. Still, I didn't fully clue in on the impact that this story had on me until it came to the scene where the Wizard Schmendrick changed the Unicorn into a human woman. There she stood, pale as snow, with hair as white as the clouds looking frail, beautiful, and lost. It wasn't this that had transfixed me. No, what had was the pink star on her forehead that symbolized the place where her horn once stood. In that second, when she lifted her bangs to show that star, I realized how much of an impact this movie had on me.
What do I mean? My masterpiece, the Golden Crown, has in it a race of women who are strong, magical, and beautiful. They are powerful and important to the world I created. How can you tell when a woman is a Dancer? By the star on their forehead that looks (in my minds eye) much like the Lady Amalthea's star did on hers. I saw in that moment tonight not the Lady Amalthea, but instead the youngest Dancer in the frailty and the other two Dancers in appearance. A mix of my magical race who came to be to help save the world though they do not realize it.
When I saw that I was shell shocked. I never once thought that The Last Unicorn had made such an impact or had inspired one of the most beloved characters I have ever created. This shows me that all that I hear, see, think and experience eventually comes out in my writing. The world, in all its glory and divinity, is my muse and I hope I never, ever lose that. I hope that it will continue to inspire me as The Last Unicorn has for the rest of my life. I was so moved that I had to share it.
Until tonight.
As a treat, I told the kids that I would watch one of their movies with them. I do this frequently when I've finished all my work and they've behaved for the day. Today they went beyond good behavior because when I sat down to do some writing, they didn't stay downstairs and disturb me with their play or with their questions. Instead, without any prompting for me, decided to play upstairs. I was so proud and thankful for their thoughtfulness, I decided to watch a movie with them. My daughter chose The Last Unicorn as she is at the age of adoring those wonderful and magical animals.
And I watched every second, mesmerized by the beauty of it and the story, the magic that shows us not only that we can fight against what frightens us, but that change proves to help us. Still, I didn't fully clue in on the impact that this story had on me until it came to the scene where the Wizard Schmendrick changed the Unicorn into a human woman. There she stood, pale as snow, with hair as white as the clouds looking frail, beautiful, and lost. It wasn't this that had transfixed me. No, what had was the pink star on her forehead that symbolized the place where her horn once stood. In that second, when she lifted her bangs to show that star, I realized how much of an impact this movie had on me.
What do I mean? My masterpiece, the Golden Crown, has in it a race of women who are strong, magical, and beautiful. They are powerful and important to the world I created. How can you tell when a woman is a Dancer? By the star on their forehead that looks (in my minds eye) much like the Lady Amalthea's star did on hers. I saw in that moment tonight not the Lady Amalthea, but instead the youngest Dancer in the frailty and the other two Dancers in appearance. A mix of my magical race who came to be to help save the world though they do not realize it.
When I saw that I was shell shocked. I never once thought that The Last Unicorn had made such an impact or had inspired one of the most beloved characters I have ever created. This shows me that all that I hear, see, think and experience eventually comes out in my writing. The world, in all its glory and divinity, is my muse and I hope I never, ever lose that. I hope that it will continue to inspire me as The Last Unicorn has for the rest of my life. I was so moved that I had to share it.
Sunday 1 August 2010
Where's Waldo? Fan Story Style!
All right, I'm pretty sure I mentioned it in my blog, but in case I didn't...here's what Fan Story is. It's a site where writers like myself can post their stories, scripts, poems...name it they can probably post it. Yes, even some rant and rave on it. Usually it's amusing...sometimes it's not. There are some really, really talented writers on this site and to be honest, it sometimes intimidates me. Yet, even though it does on occasion they have helped me find the error of my writing ways.
Now, before joining Fan Story I knew that I had grammar issues. What I mean is that grammar is my weakest point. Why? Well that's a funny story actually. It's the price of being a military brat to a degree. What usually happened is that I kept missing the initial instruction on grammar each time I moved. When I was in 5th grade in Florida, they taught the primary rules in 6th. When I moved to Colorado for 6th grade, they taught it in 5th grade. The story of my young life when it comes to grammar. So the primary rules were never actually drilled into my head like it did with others. That plus all the international traveling I've done is it really a wonder that I have issues? No, I thought not.
Yet, despite that I thought I had them pretty down pat....until Fan Story. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm grateful they were able to show me just how much I need help. But to be honest, I think I prefer ignorant bliss.....but that's a different post I believe.
Anyway, what all these very helpful people do is they go through and find every....single....error and will fill up the review box with each and every one. Most are sweet, polite, and over all helpful. Sometimes you come across one person who gives a harsh review because you gave them your honest opinion....but again that's for another post.
While helpful in pointing out how badly my grammar sucks, it doesn't do a good job at teaching me to find my own mistakes so I started a new thing just within the last week or two. I call it "Where's Waldo Fan Story Style" I'm basically asking those who are reviewing my work to simply point out where there is a mistake then let me find it. This way they can still point out to their hearts content how bad my grammar is on a regular day and I'm still learning. Everyone wins! Now, hopefully it'll catch on for others as well.
Interested in reading my work? That's easy to accomplish, simply go here.
Now, before joining Fan Story I knew that I had grammar issues. What I mean is that grammar is my weakest point. Why? Well that's a funny story actually. It's the price of being a military brat to a degree. What usually happened is that I kept missing the initial instruction on grammar each time I moved. When I was in 5th grade in Florida, they taught the primary rules in 6th. When I moved to Colorado for 6th grade, they taught it in 5th grade. The story of my young life when it comes to grammar. So the primary rules were never actually drilled into my head like it did with others. That plus all the international traveling I've done is it really a wonder that I have issues? No, I thought not.
Yet, despite that I thought I had them pretty down pat....until Fan Story. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm grateful they were able to show me just how much I need help. But to be honest, I think I prefer ignorant bliss.....but that's a different post I believe.
Anyway, what all these very helpful people do is they go through and find every....single....error and will fill up the review box with each and every one. Most are sweet, polite, and over all helpful. Sometimes you come across one person who gives a harsh review because you gave them your honest opinion....but again that's for another post.
While helpful in pointing out how badly my grammar sucks, it doesn't do a good job at teaching me to find my own mistakes so I started a new thing just within the last week or two. I call it "Where's Waldo Fan Story Style" I'm basically asking those who are reviewing my work to simply point out where there is a mistake then let me find it. This way they can still point out to their hearts content how bad my grammar is on a regular day and I'm still learning. Everyone wins! Now, hopefully it'll catch on for others as well.
Interested in reading my work? That's easy to accomplish, simply go here.
Wednesday 21 July 2010
That's been done before
You know, one of the things that has always bugged me about writing has been in relation to the actual ideas that we get. Here, let me give you a prime example. I had this great idea of a story. It's about how each story that is written is actually a real universe (anyone that knows me knows my love of multiple universes so this is a play on it) and that there are groups of people, aka writers, who are able to glimpse into these worlds, watch a sequence in time then take it from there. Think Myst meets Sliders and you get the idea...for the most part.
So here I was revved up, excited about this fantastic idea and I tell this person whose opinion I respect the most and guess what he says, some other guy has done something similar. It wasn't until recently that I realized just how much that annoys the hell out of me because if you think about it, someone somewhere has already written a story with a similar idea. The thing is, it's never exact and I got to thinking. A writer isn't necessarily someone who comes up with completely original ideas...no, a writer is someone who takes an idea already done by someone else and goes at it from a different perspective. That's what makes it unique.
Want an example? Well, even if you don't I'm going to give it anyway because that is just who I am.
Vampires! Ha, the age old story device that everyone just seem to love. Don't believe it? I give you the newest series Twilight. Ever since Dracula (the original for those who start thinking up some hunky guy who portrays the man go watch it in the original black and white, now that was something else. Better yet, go pick up the original book by Bram Stoker to really get a treat. Trust me, worth every word) people have been writing about Vampires. You have the Dracula 2000 series (an eye for an eye brother...I so love Epps in that film btw), you have Buffy and Angel (Angel, anytime you want to drink my blood give me a ring would ya?), you have Twilight, you have my favorite author Laurell Hamilton who makes them citizens and go all nuts with that angle (love it btw), you have Lestat and Lewis, and you have Brian Lumley's take of Vampires are really parasites. You want an original Vamp story, read the Necroscope Series!
My point is that Vampires have been done to death..no pun.....actually slight pun intended and yet we still gobble them up chew them up and wish they were real so that we can become one...once we become good looking and hot again that is. Wouldn't do to be a fat Vampire with wrinkles would it?
So it's been done before, so what? That's what I"m going to say when told that, yeah, and so have Vampires. Don't see anyone complaining about that do you????
So here I was revved up, excited about this fantastic idea and I tell this person whose opinion I respect the most and guess what he says, some other guy has done something similar. It wasn't until recently that I realized just how much that annoys the hell out of me because if you think about it, someone somewhere has already written a story with a similar idea. The thing is, it's never exact and I got to thinking. A writer isn't necessarily someone who comes up with completely original ideas...no, a writer is someone who takes an idea already done by someone else and goes at it from a different perspective. That's what makes it unique.
Want an example? Well, even if you don't I'm going to give it anyway because that is just who I am.
Vampires! Ha, the age old story device that everyone just seem to love. Don't believe it? I give you the newest series Twilight. Ever since Dracula (the original for those who start thinking up some hunky guy who portrays the man go watch it in the original black and white, now that was something else. Better yet, go pick up the original book by Bram Stoker to really get a treat. Trust me, worth every word) people have been writing about Vampires. You have the Dracula 2000 series (an eye for an eye brother...I so love Epps in that film btw), you have Buffy and Angel (Angel, anytime you want to drink my blood give me a ring would ya?), you have Twilight, you have my favorite author Laurell Hamilton who makes them citizens and go all nuts with that angle (love it btw), you have Lestat and Lewis, and you have Brian Lumley's take of Vampires are really parasites. You want an original Vamp story, read the Necroscope Series!
My point is that Vampires have been done to death..no pun.....actually slight pun intended and yet we still gobble them up chew them up and wish they were real so that we can become one...once we become good looking and hot again that is. Wouldn't do to be a fat Vampire with wrinkles would it?
So it's been done before, so what? That's what I"m going to say when told that, yeah, and so have Vampires. Don't see anyone complaining about that do you????
Tuesday 13 July 2010
I think I can, I think I can
So here I am, with my book Memory Lane, pretty much edited. Okay, so it needs a bit more editing, a bit more scrutiny and finding those stinking commas to put them in the right place is necessary, but for the most part. The darn thing is done. At least it better be done because in a way I'm sick and tired of Memory Lane. I'm tired of thinking about it, I'm tired of worrying about it, most of all I'm tired of knowing that it is there on my computer not doing anything. The thing is that I have to finally get off my ass and send in the letters to the Agents so that I can get representation so that the damn thing can get published.
Get it published, get promoted, do as I'm told and walla, I'm a published author.
Sounds easy? Hardly, more like it's a struggle to fight between relief that it's all done, apprehension of what the agents will say and down right fear that I've been deluding myself for all these years on my writing skill. Oh, sure people tell me I'm good, but they aren't what I call professional editors (no offense gang, but lets be honest, you're just a reader, they are the ones who get paid the big bucks out of my paycheck when I get published).
I think about all these things and realize, "Dear Lady, I simply don't want to go through the hassle and the rejection" then, just when I resign myself that I have to do something I find out a friend of mine who just started a book already has a freaking editor. How sick is that????? Okay, not sick for him obviously, but when I think that this guy was able to attain a closer step to my dream. I think, to be exact, that I'm green with envy. Not a pretty green either, but a sickly green.
After I heard that I'm filled once again with this desire to push ahead while being hit with this fear that I can't do it, that I'll fail....that I'll never get published. Then it will be a smack in the face that says "Ha ha, see, I knew I couldn't why try?"
But then this other voice whispers to me, "You just won't know and if you think it won't happen then it won't." It's like the whole the little engine who could. I think I can, I think I can.....but what if I can't....sigh
Get it published, get promoted, do as I'm told and walla, I'm a published author.
Sounds easy? Hardly, more like it's a struggle to fight between relief that it's all done, apprehension of what the agents will say and down right fear that I've been deluding myself for all these years on my writing skill. Oh, sure people tell me I'm good, but they aren't what I call professional editors (no offense gang, but lets be honest, you're just a reader, they are the ones who get paid the big bucks out of my paycheck when I get published).
I think about all these things and realize, "Dear Lady, I simply don't want to go through the hassle and the rejection" then, just when I resign myself that I have to do something I find out a friend of mine who just started a book already has a freaking editor. How sick is that????? Okay, not sick for him obviously, but when I think that this guy was able to attain a closer step to my dream. I think, to be exact, that I'm green with envy. Not a pretty green either, but a sickly green.
After I heard that I'm filled once again with this desire to push ahead while being hit with this fear that I can't do it, that I'll fail....that I'll never get published. Then it will be a smack in the face that says "Ha ha, see, I knew I couldn't why try?"
But then this other voice whispers to me, "You just won't know and if you think it won't happen then it won't." It's like the whole the little engine who could. I think I can, I think I can.....but what if I can't....sigh
Wednesday 26 May 2010
Stinking Commas
There are so many aspects in regard to writing that it's sometimes very difficult to make sure that you cross every t, dot every i and place every stinking comma in the right place. I am starting to hate those stinking commas.
Here's the situation, I have this site that I've recently joined...okay, not so recently, I joined it in January. It's called FanStory.com and this is a site for writers to post their work and get review from other writers. It does help in pointing out what the problem areas are in your own writer, but let's be honest shall we? It's mostly an ego booster for writers. You know, a consistent flow of wonderful sounding praise of how wonderful and a great story it is. Some is completely BS of course, but there are the times when someone actually offers up good and practical advice and/or reviews.
In the process of those helpful reviews I have found the one chink in my writing skills. Those stinking comma placements! I usually don't use enough of them apparently, or I use them in the wrong place. And it's surprising that this is my problem. I mean, I've known that grammar isn't my strong suit. Why? Well that's easy, being a military brat has made getting a steady influence of proper grammar at a consistent level. This is of course annoying.
Making it worse is that apparently, surprising, creative writing utilizes a different grammar set of rules than normal writing for e-mails, essays and other forms of written communication. What we learned in school was more than likely are APA or MFA. Oh no, Creative Writing and novels in general are checked with the Chicago Style Guide which is a set of very complicated, very annoying rules that incorporate a hell of a lot more rules.
Why the hell do novels have to hold to a stricter code of grammar????
Sigh, I know the reality is that I can' change it. All I can do is make sure that I learn it. In the meantime I think I'll continue to moan, groan and growl at those stinking commas and hope that the rules will eventually sink into my brain.
Here's the situation, I have this site that I've recently joined...okay, not so recently, I joined it in January. It's called FanStory.com and this is a site for writers to post their work and get review from other writers. It does help in pointing out what the problem areas are in your own writer, but let's be honest shall we? It's mostly an ego booster for writers. You know, a consistent flow of wonderful sounding praise of how wonderful and a great story it is. Some is completely BS of course, but there are the times when someone actually offers up good and practical advice and/or reviews.
In the process of those helpful reviews I have found the one chink in my writing skills. Those stinking comma placements! I usually don't use enough of them apparently, or I use them in the wrong place. And it's surprising that this is my problem. I mean, I've known that grammar isn't my strong suit. Why? Well that's easy, being a military brat has made getting a steady influence of proper grammar at a consistent level. This is of course annoying.
Making it worse is that apparently, surprising, creative writing utilizes a different grammar set of rules than normal writing for e-mails, essays and other forms of written communication. What we learned in school was more than likely are APA or MFA. Oh no, Creative Writing and novels in general are checked with the Chicago Style Guide which is a set of very complicated, very annoying rules that incorporate a hell of a lot more rules.
Why the hell do novels have to hold to a stricter code of grammar????
Sigh, I know the reality is that I can' change it. All I can do is make sure that I learn it. In the meantime I think I'll continue to moan, groan and growl at those stinking commas and hope that the rules will eventually sink into my brain.
Sunday 16 May 2010
Inspiration comes from the oddest of places
Today me and the kids had gone out shopping and somehow, I'm not sure what spurred it, but my 6 year old and I started talking about a city in the clouds. I think it began because we were talking about cars that fly or something like that. As it is with all six year old girls, the discussion about what would be in the city was grass, Unicorns, schools (yay) and so forth.
Then Raven asked me, "Would that city last forever Mommy?"
My answer, unbidden and totally unthinkingly I answered, "Until the power goes out."
I honestly don't know why that popped in my head, but this gives an idea of how my mind works. I had this perfect vision of my head of the City of Clouds in Star Wars falling to the planet all because the power went on the fritz. Imagine for a moment...blink, blink, darkness then screams as gravity takes hold and the whistling of the air as it streaks down to the planet. The whistle in the ears and the pressure of gravity pushing the human body against the floors which prevents anyone from moving beyond reaching out to the hand of the person next to you....
And I got all of this from talking to my 6 year old!
I'm not unused to the idea of my daughter, but usually she inspires my art. Very rarely does she ever inspire my writing though. Not that I mind, okay, I mind a little bit only because what came from the inspiration was one of violence, terror and what could be a horrible event if it goes to the eventual conclusion that could happen.
Oh well, it happens from time to time and since I have this mind that tends to twist even the most innocent of items to the most peculiar images. Remember, it always starts with just an idea then moves into something totally unique.
Then Raven asked me, "Would that city last forever Mommy?"
My answer, unbidden and totally unthinkingly I answered, "Until the power goes out."
I honestly don't know why that popped in my head, but this gives an idea of how my mind works. I had this perfect vision of my head of the City of Clouds in Star Wars falling to the planet all because the power went on the fritz. Imagine for a moment...blink, blink, darkness then screams as gravity takes hold and the whistling of the air as it streaks down to the planet. The whistle in the ears and the pressure of gravity pushing the human body against the floors which prevents anyone from moving beyond reaching out to the hand of the person next to you....
And I got all of this from talking to my 6 year old!
I'm not unused to the idea of my daughter, but usually she inspires my art. Very rarely does she ever inspire my writing though. Not that I mind, okay, I mind a little bit only because what came from the inspiration was one of violence, terror and what could be a horrible event if it goes to the eventual conclusion that could happen.
Oh well, it happens from time to time and since I have this mind that tends to twist even the most innocent of items to the most peculiar images. Remember, it always starts with just an idea then moves into something totally unique.
Friday 14 May 2010
Development of an Idea - Science Fiction
All right, I'm a huge, HUGE fan of science fiction. A love and passion that began with my Father who is an even bigger fan of science fiction than I am....but only because he's been alive longer than I.
One thing I've always wanted to do was write a science fiction story. I want to do this because, a) I love science fiction and b) because it seems like it'd be fun to do. Add c)I have a lot of great ideas for useful technology to the mix and it seems as if it shouldn't fail. Sadly it does because I get caught up in the tiny details. How does xyz item work, why does it work? I want to know, readers probably don't care overly much on the science involved. Oh, sure, they want to know generally that it will work the way it should work. That is makes sense, that it is logical. But whether or not we are taking liberties with the laws of physics, they pretty much give carche blanch. However, I'm one of those people that wants to make it as realistic as possible.
Good for me, bad for story.
It's good for me because I get to learn stuff. Bad for story because I never get to the actual writing of the story.
So what is the solution? Easy! Get someone to help me who can put their foot down and say "It's good enough, let's get on with the writing." Yay! I found someone and she's more than eager to help. Which gives me a new project, something to take my mind off things at home. Yippee, what fun.
The question is, how to really get started. What is the first step. That's, actually, the easy part. You have to decide what you want/need to know/create. For example, Humans in the Galaxy. Makes sense that we'd be around, unless we die out as a race. I hope not, but you never know. Anyway, my friend and I know that we need to have the Human race involved because two of our main characters are half Human.
But the thing is, to make this list we need to decide on the kind of story do we want. So I guess, it's better to say that is our first step. What type of Science Fiction do you want? My friend and I have opted for a science fiction story that is more Firefly and Babylon 5 with a smidge of Star Wars and less Star Trek and Stargate. Should be fun!
I'll keep you up to date on the progress of the development.
One thing I've always wanted to do was write a science fiction story. I want to do this because, a) I love science fiction and b) because it seems like it'd be fun to do. Add c)I have a lot of great ideas for useful technology to the mix and it seems as if it shouldn't fail. Sadly it does because I get caught up in the tiny details. How does xyz item work, why does it work? I want to know, readers probably don't care overly much on the science involved. Oh, sure, they want to know generally that it will work the way it should work. That is makes sense, that it is logical. But whether or not we are taking liberties with the laws of physics, they pretty much give carche blanch. However, I'm one of those people that wants to make it as realistic as possible.
Good for me, bad for story.
It's good for me because I get to learn stuff. Bad for story because I never get to the actual writing of the story.
So what is the solution? Easy! Get someone to help me who can put their foot down and say "It's good enough, let's get on with the writing." Yay! I found someone and she's more than eager to help. Which gives me a new project, something to take my mind off things at home. Yippee, what fun.
The question is, how to really get started. What is the first step. That's, actually, the easy part. You have to decide what you want/need to know/create. For example, Humans in the Galaxy. Makes sense that we'd be around, unless we die out as a race. I hope not, but you never know. Anyway, my friend and I know that we need to have the Human race involved because two of our main characters are half Human.
But the thing is, to make this list we need to decide on the kind of story do we want. So I guess, it's better to say that is our first step. What type of Science Fiction do you want? My friend and I have opted for a science fiction story that is more Firefly and Babylon 5 with a smidge of Star Wars and less Star Trek and Stargate. Should be fun!
I'll keep you up to date on the progress of the development.
Monday 10 May 2010
Yay Britain!
In light of my recent move into a more spiritual life I have endeavored to expand myself into reading news about Pagans in general. Now some of the stuff I've read is what I call, well, bigotry for the most part. XYZ group doesn't want a Pagan festival in their town or see, Wiccan's kill people too and they are worse because they are Wiccan. Or, a personal favorite, because the Nazis might have been (this is a constant discussion apparently about whether or not the Nazis party was Pagan or Christian. It's a discussion I, myself, have been in as well. The point of fact is that some may have been Pagan while others were Christian. Unless you can time travel and ask, we may never know for certain) then obviously being Pagan is wrong because it inspires horrible acts against humanity like the holocaust.
Another favorite was the whole high school up in arms because a boy wanted to build an altar in shop class and apparently now other kids are afraid to go to school for it. My reaction to these are always, "Grow up" or some variation of it.
Yet, despite all the crap, I do read some good stories and today I read two. These two, unfortunately or fortunately depending on your point of view, come from good ole Britannia. All hail the Queen!
The first story I read was about how Pagan's are starting to come to the forefront. Now, don't mistake me, I wish no ill will on the Christian community of the world. Honest I don't as some of my best friends and even my husband is in fact Christian. However, what I think is good about this particular article that I read is that it's showing that Pagans in general, and perhaps even Wiccans specifically, are starting to be recognized as more than just a fad. Here is the article for anyone interested in reading it: Here
That's the fortunate part from my point of view. The unfortunate, again in my point of view, is that it's not also happening in the US. Yes, in fact currently there is a big hoopla about Wiccan's celebrating in a particular area. All sorts of things are being mentioned and it's, well, a hoopla. I'd call them all hooligans, but that doesn't quite sum it up. It's unfortunate that it still happens, but the realist in me realizes that you just can't escape attitudes like that.
Even 50 years from now when religious tolerance is more than something we talk about to actual fact for over 80% of population, there will still be the 20% who deliberately cut off contact with someone of an opposite religion simply because they can't be bothered to accept that not everyone will believe what they believe.
This leads me to the second article which is what ultimately spurred forth this particular post. Again, here comes Britain with a fantastic example for the world. The police have given weight to the Pagan Police Association. Whoo hoo! Go Britain!
If you're interested in the story you can find it here: Here
Okay, so it's not all peaches and cream and I'm sure there are issues involved that I am just not privy to. Especially considering that I'm not British and I lack that really sexy accent they have (no offense but I'm more moved by the guys accent than the girls. Just who I am, I'm sure you ladies have sexy accents too). But let's really think about this whole 'Britain sets example' idea shall we? Despite what others may feel, think or believe, Britain has been one of the more influential countries in the world, especially in regards to the past. While not all the current countries of today were seeded by the British, a fair amount were. Don't believe me? I give you the two most obvious countries. Australia (with their even sexier accent that sounds similar but not quite the same as the British accent) and America.
Even today they are considered a super power and will probably remain so for a very long time. So it is understandable and completely reasonable to think that if they are showing their support for us Pagans that sooner rather than later, the rest of the world will too. Which will be fantastic because then, perhaps soon, the percentage of the Earth's population who pay homage to more than a single God/dess will be able to answer the question of 'what do you believe' with much more than the answer 'alternative' and instead say "I'm a Wiccan." or "I'm a Druid" without the blank stares.
......or at least one can hope right?
Another favorite was the whole high school up in arms because a boy wanted to build an altar in shop class and apparently now other kids are afraid to go to school for it. My reaction to these are always, "Grow up" or some variation of it.
Yet, despite all the crap, I do read some good stories and today I read two. These two, unfortunately or fortunately depending on your point of view, come from good ole Britannia. All hail the Queen!
The first story I read was about how Pagan's are starting to come to the forefront. Now, don't mistake me, I wish no ill will on the Christian community of the world. Honest I don't as some of my best friends and even my husband is in fact Christian. However, what I think is good about this particular article that I read is that it's showing that Pagans in general, and perhaps even Wiccans specifically, are starting to be recognized as more than just a fad. Here is the article for anyone interested in reading it: Here
That's the fortunate part from my point of view. The unfortunate, again in my point of view, is that it's not also happening in the US. Yes, in fact currently there is a big hoopla about Wiccan's celebrating in a particular area. All sorts of things are being mentioned and it's, well, a hoopla. I'd call them all hooligans, but that doesn't quite sum it up. It's unfortunate that it still happens, but the realist in me realizes that you just can't escape attitudes like that.
Even 50 years from now when religious tolerance is more than something we talk about to actual fact for over 80% of population, there will still be the 20% who deliberately cut off contact with someone of an opposite religion simply because they can't be bothered to accept that not everyone will believe what they believe.
This leads me to the second article which is what ultimately spurred forth this particular post. Again, here comes Britain with a fantastic example for the world. The police have given weight to the Pagan Police Association. Whoo hoo! Go Britain!
If you're interested in the story you can find it here: Here
Okay, so it's not all peaches and cream and I'm sure there are issues involved that I am just not privy to. Especially considering that I'm not British and I lack that really sexy accent they have (no offense but I'm more moved by the guys accent than the girls. Just who I am, I'm sure you ladies have sexy accents too). But let's really think about this whole 'Britain sets example' idea shall we? Despite what others may feel, think or believe, Britain has been one of the more influential countries in the world, especially in regards to the past. While not all the current countries of today were seeded by the British, a fair amount were. Don't believe me? I give you the two most obvious countries. Australia (with their even sexier accent that sounds similar but not quite the same as the British accent) and America.
Even today they are considered a super power and will probably remain so for a very long time. So it is understandable and completely reasonable to think that if they are showing their support for us Pagans that sooner rather than later, the rest of the world will too. Which will be fantastic because then, perhaps soon, the percentage of the Earth's population who pay homage to more than a single God/dess will be able to answer the question of 'what do you believe' with much more than the answer 'alternative' and instead say "I'm a Wiccan." or "I'm a Druid" without the blank stares.
......or at least one can hope right?
Monday 3 May 2010
Flirtting with violence
So I think it was last week when Laurell Hamilton's newest book in the Anita Blake series came out. I was good, I only waited a week before I ran to the book store to snatch it up without so much of a bat of my eye. I was even better in the fact that I didn't race home immediately to read it because I had other things that needed to be taken care of. I was bad though that while me and the kids were eating lunch I caved and read the first five pages instead of talking with the kids. They forgave me though because it's like the family knows and understands. Mommy gets a new book and she must devour. All I can say about Flirt is YUM.
I've talked to few others that share my adoration for the Anita Blake series and say that it's gotten to be too much about violence and sex. I can sympathize with them on this. There is a point when there is too much of both......I think. I haven't met my quota yet, but I'm sure I have a line that shouldn't be crossed. When or if I ever find it I'll probably talk about it. Frankly though there is this well spring of violence that lives within all of us I think that needs or should be tapped. I know a few people that seem to lack either and I marvel at that. I also don't understand it. In some ways I'm sorry for them, but they are happy and it works for me.
Anyway, back to the book.
At the end of the book Laurell Hamilton gave a bit of an explanation of where her ideas come from and how they go from an idea to an actual book. As I read through it I realized that I have much more in common with her than I had initially believed. I mean I don't write stories like she does that has monsters and sex and .... no, wait, I do have the violence. But in regards to our approach to writing, judging from this little bit that I read we have similarities. We both start with a scene then it just sits, grows until it demands attention. She and I both tap into this world that we live in that has pictures of what would happen if the situation went bad. Violence is just a natural part of who we are apparently.
Now, most people who know me would be shocked or surprised at that statement. I've been told for years that I'm sweet, kind and gentle. I wouldn't hurt a fly. It's true, I respect nature and life too much to actually do it. That's why my characters do it for me. I see it clearly, visualize it and let it fester until it's time to put it down on paper. I take it all out there, letting that well of anger and violence flow into the words until there is a character and a situation that sums up the fullness of those desires and impulses. It's comforting, it's fun and it's beautiful. It's me.
So while I flirt with violence, I find that it's a healthy expression. Much better than actually doing it. Curiosity allows me to explore the actions with words instead of an actual activity. Good for the human race, better for my soul and fantastic for my children. It is also partly one of the primary reasons that I have recently started down a more spiritual path because I know that I have to both accept and draw out the impulses that lie beneath the surface into something healthy and worthwhile.
I also know I won't be letting my children read my stories until they are probably 18 or older if I can help it.
I've talked to few others that share my adoration for the Anita Blake series and say that it's gotten to be too much about violence and sex. I can sympathize with them on this. There is a point when there is too much of both......I think. I haven't met my quota yet, but I'm sure I have a line that shouldn't be crossed. When or if I ever find it I'll probably talk about it. Frankly though there is this well spring of violence that lives within all of us I think that needs or should be tapped. I know a few people that seem to lack either and I marvel at that. I also don't understand it. In some ways I'm sorry for them, but they are happy and it works for me.
Anyway, back to the book.
At the end of the book Laurell Hamilton gave a bit of an explanation of where her ideas come from and how they go from an idea to an actual book. As I read through it I realized that I have much more in common with her than I had initially believed. I mean I don't write stories like she does that has monsters and sex and .... no, wait, I do have the violence. But in regards to our approach to writing, judging from this little bit that I read we have similarities. We both start with a scene then it just sits, grows until it demands attention. She and I both tap into this world that we live in that has pictures of what would happen if the situation went bad. Violence is just a natural part of who we are apparently.
Now, most people who know me would be shocked or surprised at that statement. I've been told for years that I'm sweet, kind and gentle. I wouldn't hurt a fly. It's true, I respect nature and life too much to actually do it. That's why my characters do it for me. I see it clearly, visualize it and let it fester until it's time to put it down on paper. I take it all out there, letting that well of anger and violence flow into the words until there is a character and a situation that sums up the fullness of those desires and impulses. It's comforting, it's fun and it's beautiful. It's me.
So while I flirt with violence, I find that it's a healthy expression. Much better than actually doing it. Curiosity allows me to explore the actions with words instead of an actual activity. Good for the human race, better for my soul and fantastic for my children. It is also partly one of the primary reasons that I have recently started down a more spiritual path because I know that I have to both accept and draw out the impulses that lie beneath the surface into something healthy and worthwhile.
I also know I won't be letting my children read my stories until they are probably 18 or older if I can help it.
Saturday 1 May 2010
Merry Beltane
It's coming to the end of May 1st, also known as May Day to others, but Beltane to me. Sadly I wasn't exactly able to do the ceremony like I wanted to due to it just being me and the kids. But I honored Beltane through decorations and some meditation. Plus the last couple nights I've had inspirations left in a nifty notebook by my bed.
With the coming of Summer, the passing of Spring, it is time to look at new ideas, new concepts. For me that means a full on workout system that should start showing results in a month, plus a new brand of spring cleaning. *Gasp* I'm attempting to be rid of clutter. My mother would faint since I'm one of those kids that was always told "Clean up this mess!" Why the change, because in the drive to be one with the Divine I've looked at my life and realized YIKES, I'm great at the study, but application through my own life. You know, walking the walk and talking the talk. I got the talk, don't have the walk. Walk into my house and you'll see proof.
So I'm putting the books to the side....sort of to the side. I Can't seem to avoid looking and reading snippets, taking notes and thinking (I never stop thinking by the way). But I'm going to try and change how I go about living before I expand the mind at a faster pace. For once I'm working on the physical first and the mind second. To do this my lovely husband said Yes, buy a treadmill. I found a cheap one the only problem is that the belt is moving to the left and won't let me fix it...yet.
Sigh, I hate it when things don't work out exactly as I want it when I want it.
One other note, my darling Raven is always encouraging. She came running up to me and said, "Mom, will you get on the treadmill to loose weight right now?" Little darling that she is. How can I fail with my kids looking at me with those brown eyes of their father that say "You can do anything Mom. Even lift the world."? I can't and I thank the Lord and Lady for giving them to me. Oh and I thank Ike too btw :)
With the coming of Summer, the passing of Spring, it is time to look at new ideas, new concepts. For me that means a full on workout system that should start showing results in a month, plus a new brand of spring cleaning. *Gasp* I'm attempting to be rid of clutter. My mother would faint since I'm one of those kids that was always told "Clean up this mess!" Why the change, because in the drive to be one with the Divine I've looked at my life and realized YIKES, I'm great at the study, but application through my own life. You know, walking the walk and talking the talk. I got the talk, don't have the walk. Walk into my house and you'll see proof.
So I'm putting the books to the side....sort of to the side. I Can't seem to avoid looking and reading snippets, taking notes and thinking (I never stop thinking by the way). But I'm going to try and change how I go about living before I expand the mind at a faster pace. For once I'm working on the physical first and the mind second. To do this my lovely husband said Yes, buy a treadmill. I found a cheap one the only problem is that the belt is moving to the left and won't let me fix it...yet.
Sigh, I hate it when things don't work out exactly as I want it when I want it.
One other note, my darling Raven is always encouraging. She came running up to me and said, "Mom, will you get on the treadmill to loose weight right now?" Little darling that she is. How can I fail with my kids looking at me with those brown eyes of their father that say "You can do anything Mom. Even lift the world."? I can't and I thank the Lord and Lady for giving them to me. Oh and I thank Ike too btw :)
Tuesday 16 March 2010
My baby is 3!
You know, when you initially plan to start a family... i.e. have kids.... you try to anticipate everything. You know you'll need to budget the kid(s) into your daily life, adjust for changed behaviors and maybe even sacrifice some old hobbies for any number of reasons. Then you weight that against the joy and love that having one or more kids will bring to your life. You do your best by them, you say to yourself "Please don't let me be as harsh as my Mother or Father was." Only to find out that the level of harshness you dealt with was actually pretty mild because you swear upon anything holy that your kids are much worse than you were.
But there is one thing you just don't expect. It's fully understandable why it would be forgotten as we're never entirely sure how much the kid(s) will affect you. It's that feeling of sadness when you know that your babies are growing up....*sob*
I have two kids (as if anyone reading this didn't know) and today is my son's birthday. Three years ago he was born and my eldest became a big sister and I became the mother of two. My husband finally got a son and I have to watch two of my babies grow up while realizing that I'll never get the younger ages back.
*SOB*
I'm happy and sad. I'm happy because both are becoming wonderful people that will be an absolute delight as they grow older (I hope), but I'm sad because that means that in 12 years my daughter will be out of the house and in 15 so will my son. Time goes by too fast, way too fast.
If I could I would freeze frame this moment right now and keep it forever.
Excuse me...I'm going to...SOB...enjoy my time with my kids!
But there is one thing you just don't expect. It's fully understandable why it would be forgotten as we're never entirely sure how much the kid(s) will affect you. It's that feeling of sadness when you know that your babies are growing up....*sob*
I have two kids (as if anyone reading this didn't know) and today is my son's birthday. Three years ago he was born and my eldest became a big sister and I became the mother of two. My husband finally got a son and I have to watch two of my babies grow up while realizing that I'll never get the younger ages back.
*SOB*
I'm happy and sad. I'm happy because both are becoming wonderful people that will be an absolute delight as they grow older (I hope), but I'm sad because that means that in 12 years my daughter will be out of the house and in 15 so will my son. Time goes by too fast, way too fast.
If I could I would freeze frame this moment right now and keep it forever.
Excuse me...I'm going to...SOB...enjoy my time with my kids!
Wednesday 10 March 2010
Busy, Busy, Busy
Sigh.......
You know what happens when you decide to make a change for the purposes of spirituality? You find yourself chucked into the deep end of busy. I kid you not, it's like this magnetic attraction for me. I go from opening up anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes a day for the purposes of spiritual growth only to have something come and eat up those precious minutes.
First it starts with the wonderful family vacation. A necessity as it helps us develop stronger bonds as a family, plus it's fun. We had a blast at Disney World so that was worth it. Then it gets chewed up by housework and getting back into the whole being at home thing. Then you get hired so to speak to do a web site, which is good but doing the layout sketches tends to zap all thought processes out the window because you want to do something that's different, that will help set this site out from all the rest.
Of course, it doesn't stop there. Suddenly, since you have this time and you need to garner experience you volunteer for a magazine. Which is fine because theoretically all you have to do is manage a few people...easy right?
Wrong.
One person can't do their spread, then another, then the publisher needs help and because I seem to be physically incapable of saying the word..you know, no...I get wrapped up into helping with a second magazine to do three spreads there. YAY, experience!
But of course it doesn't stop there, I get asked to help with doing web portfolios. A simple activity really, only five pages with a site builder (which SUCKS for HTML/CSS addicts like myself). Three websites where I do all the work plus one which is a basic plug and play idea and the fifth being a simple "Well if you did this." Yay, great experience. All I learned was that some people are jerks, others just don't care and more are just meddlers. Oh and site builders suck!
Then, just to put icing on the cake, no writing either!
Now, I like being highly creative. Honestly I do. It's fun, interesting and challenging...sometimes. But hell, you can't have everything can you?
So for the last month and a half I've had my head stuck in either InDesign (which I can't stand for longer than a few hours) and a stupid freaking site builder! Which royally sucked because not only was I busy in those programs, but several things got shoved to the wayside.
Probably the worst and the one that causes the most guilt was that I was unable to spend as much time with my son as I like to do. For his part he was a trooper. He played by himself, bothered me rarely and only for the necessary problems like food, drink, diaper, potty training...you get the idea. My daughter was less understanding sometimes and other times more so. It was a fluctuating pattern. Out of the whole family I think the ones that were the most understanding was my husband, our dog and our cat who fortunately didn't try to walk across my computer screen (bloody cats think they own everything).
The other horrible thing was that my bloody shoulder decided to be a literal pain. The biggest problem is that this time I could avoid the offending computer for three days straight. I had a deadline after all. So the advice I got instead....reorganize your desk! Yeah right.
But my husband, being who he is, insisted that it would be for the best and to be honest I had been thinking about doing so even before the shoulder pain that registers a 9.7 on the pain scale (I'm not kidding. When it flares up I'm almost completely incapacitated which makes doing any of the above IMPOSSIBLE...actually it makes doing anything impossible. Sad day when you can't even pick up your kids).
The other side effects? Well cleaning, I didn't do it. So my house is this clutter pile of things I won't get into. I look at it, I feel guilty but back to work I went because it HAD to be done. Then, just to put some icing on the cake, my shoulder pain makes it hard to do any cleaning. Picture this: Loading the damn dishwasher. A simple operation. Scrape off dishes, put them in the dishwasher, turn it on, go do something else. You wouldn't think it would stress out muscles, but guess what! It DOES. I swear, there are times when I think I hear someone snickering at me when all this pops up.
It's over now though...the magazines and workshop that is. So I had this big huge plan of what I was going to do. I was going to rest, write, work on that web site that I had been asked for prior to the magazine fiasco. It ended last week and due to my shoulder, cleaning has been all catch up in short bursts, writing has happened once. I think I skimmed one spiritual book, I'm trying to read one book about marketing myself as a Web Designer...which is a different story...a few magazines to keep me up to date on tricks, tips and new stuff for the CS5 version of the programs. The only real thing I've been able to do is catch up on my time with the kids. Which is good, don't get me wrong. But there is only so much you can do when you're asked to lay on the floor just so you can watch your son play with his cars (because he won't let you play with them, that's just wrong for some reason).
So needless to say, I've been really busy and it's sucked, but was also fun. This of course tells me many things about myself.
1. I'm a workaholic
2. Multi-tasking is great but not at the expense of the other important things
3. I'm incapable of stopping myself
4. I'm a workaholic
That's pretty much it.
You know what happens when you decide to make a change for the purposes of spirituality? You find yourself chucked into the deep end of busy. I kid you not, it's like this magnetic attraction for me. I go from opening up anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes a day for the purposes of spiritual growth only to have something come and eat up those precious minutes.
First it starts with the wonderful family vacation. A necessity as it helps us develop stronger bonds as a family, plus it's fun. We had a blast at Disney World so that was worth it. Then it gets chewed up by housework and getting back into the whole being at home thing. Then you get hired so to speak to do a web site, which is good but doing the layout sketches tends to zap all thought processes out the window because you want to do something that's different, that will help set this site out from all the rest.
Of course, it doesn't stop there. Suddenly, since you have this time and you need to garner experience you volunteer for a magazine. Which is fine because theoretically all you have to do is manage a few people...easy right?
Wrong.
One person can't do their spread, then another, then the publisher needs help and because I seem to be physically incapable of saying the word..you know, no...I get wrapped up into helping with a second magazine to do three spreads there. YAY, experience!
But of course it doesn't stop there, I get asked to help with doing web portfolios. A simple activity really, only five pages with a site builder (which SUCKS for HTML/CSS addicts like myself). Three websites where I do all the work plus one which is a basic plug and play idea and the fifth being a simple "Well if you did this." Yay, great experience. All I learned was that some people are jerks, others just don't care and more are just meddlers. Oh and site builders suck!
Then, just to put icing on the cake, no writing either!
Now, I like being highly creative. Honestly I do. It's fun, interesting and challenging...sometimes. But hell, you can't have everything can you?
So for the last month and a half I've had my head stuck in either InDesign (which I can't stand for longer than a few hours) and a stupid freaking site builder! Which royally sucked because not only was I busy in those programs, but several things got shoved to the wayside.
Probably the worst and the one that causes the most guilt was that I was unable to spend as much time with my son as I like to do. For his part he was a trooper. He played by himself, bothered me rarely and only for the necessary problems like food, drink, diaper, potty training...you get the idea. My daughter was less understanding sometimes and other times more so. It was a fluctuating pattern. Out of the whole family I think the ones that were the most understanding was my husband, our dog and our cat who fortunately didn't try to walk across my computer screen (bloody cats think they own everything).
The other horrible thing was that my bloody shoulder decided to be a literal pain. The biggest problem is that this time I could avoid the offending computer for three days straight. I had a deadline after all. So the advice I got instead....reorganize your desk! Yeah right.
But my husband, being who he is, insisted that it would be for the best and to be honest I had been thinking about doing so even before the shoulder pain that registers a 9.7 on the pain scale (I'm not kidding. When it flares up I'm almost completely incapacitated which makes doing any of the above IMPOSSIBLE...actually it makes doing anything impossible. Sad day when you can't even pick up your kids).
The other side effects? Well cleaning, I didn't do it. So my house is this clutter pile of things I won't get into. I look at it, I feel guilty but back to work I went because it HAD to be done. Then, just to put some icing on the cake, my shoulder pain makes it hard to do any cleaning. Picture this: Loading the damn dishwasher. A simple operation. Scrape off dishes, put them in the dishwasher, turn it on, go do something else. You wouldn't think it would stress out muscles, but guess what! It DOES. I swear, there are times when I think I hear someone snickering at me when all this pops up.
It's over now though...the magazines and workshop that is. So I had this big huge plan of what I was going to do. I was going to rest, write, work on that web site that I had been asked for prior to the magazine fiasco. It ended last week and due to my shoulder, cleaning has been all catch up in short bursts, writing has happened once. I think I skimmed one spiritual book, I'm trying to read one book about marketing myself as a Web Designer...which is a different story...a few magazines to keep me up to date on tricks, tips and new stuff for the CS5 version of the programs. The only real thing I've been able to do is catch up on my time with the kids. Which is good, don't get me wrong. But there is only so much you can do when you're asked to lay on the floor just so you can watch your son play with his cars (because he won't let you play with them, that's just wrong for some reason).
So needless to say, I've been really busy and it's sucked, but was also fun. This of course tells me many things about myself.
1. I'm a workaholic
2. Multi-tasking is great but not at the expense of the other important things
3. I'm incapable of stopping myself
4. I'm a workaholic
That's pretty much it.
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