So, my first week started with Flash. It's a nifty graphic animation program that just looks, well, awesome. Yet, when I stare at it I find myself in a bind. I have to do my homework, but what I really want to do is sit down with my manuscript and work on that instead. It's easier to do that, which is saying something considering how many times I've already talked about how hard it is to edit my own stuff. Is this karma you think? Maybe someone is trying to tell me something, a little hint, a drop of a feather...something.
Throughout the last five years I have been given a thousand and one signs from the Gods and Goddesses (Yes, folks, you've read that correctly. I am Wiccan and I am proud of it. I've gone through a lot in regards to my choice of religion and in all honesty, I'm a little tired of trying to be sensitive to everyone's opinion on the matter. If you have a concern about my choice of Faith, my apologies if I seem insensitive. However, I've been having a conversation with a very good friend of mine that is devoutly Christian and in our conversation he has shown me that being afraid to admit the truth to those who love me is a disservice not just to myself but to my Faith. I am Wiccan, I believe in duality and I am proud....okay, that's out of my system, let me get back to the point) that my writing should take priority. From feathers to omens to readings to even a not so gentle nudge from my Spiritual Guides....and that was an experience I'll never forget.
So with all these hints and pushes toward this path, why oh why am I also working on being an artist? Would you believe I actually have an answer to that? It's simple really...I'm a glutton for punishment. I've given this a lot of thought in regards to creativity and the source of it. We all have a bit of it in ourselves and we express it in different ways. It doesn't make sense for one person to be more creative than another even though we hail artists and writers with an over abundance of it. On the contrary, I think that the mathematician or the physicist has just as much, if not more creativity than I or any of my more artistic friends and family. The difference is in the expression. In fact I have more admiration for the mathematician, historian or physicist than I do for other artists and writers (actually I envy the artists and writers for a totally different reason though) simply because not only are they creative, they have the technical know how.
Again though I seem to be stumbling off the subject. My point is that I have this well of creativity and apparently it's not satisfied with just one outlet...though why not I can't understand simply because just to write a book takes so much out of me that it's frightening. I guess because it's a different medium that is the main point. Writing the words gives an avenue for the internal conflict within myself. Think about it for a moment if you will. A book is filled with characters, plots, craziness and romance. We have to twist the life of a person(s) in this story to make it interesting. I don't think I've read a single book that has the story premise that everything was fine when it started, fine in the middle of it and fine at the end of it. Our lives are, and pardon me for saying this, a bit mundane when you compare it to the world of movies and books. We dip into those mediums for the hope of an adventure that's safe and exciting to us. We want to be oohhed and aahhed. Why? Where else are we going to get it?
So the writers of these books need to have some kind of desire, deep down or at the surface, for the adventure they write about. Now, I'm not sure about other writers and if you are one, please feel free to let me know, but as for me when I start writing a story I find myself in the story. It's in my day dreams, my dreams at night, even in my thoughts. It's almost as if I'm living it in a way....but that just may be wishful thinking on my part.
Art and web designing though is a whole different kettle of fish. It requires a different set of creative muscles and perhaps the reason why I'm flexing both sets at once is because I like exhausting myself mentally. I suppose it would explain all my attempts to draw people into theoretical discussions about multiple realities and whether or not aliens really do exist and if they do would they really be a bipedal?
So why exhaust myself mentally? For fun? Or is there some deeper need that I'm attempt to satisfy or replace? That's the real question I suppose, the one I have no answer for. Yet I can't help but try to search for it. If anyone has any thoughts about it, please feel free to share them. The more the merrier I suppose.
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