Wednesday 25 August 2010

I nailed it....I hope

Tonight I think I finally nailed my query letter.  I'm actually, gasp, happy with it.  I just hope it works out.  Now all I need to do is finish editing the fourth draft, cut out close to 25,000 words *sob*, get it proofread then actually send the blasted thing off to get rejected a dozen so times before I can celebrate the victory of an agent which will then lead to the victor of publishing and starting all over again.  YAY!

Sweet Mother, it seems like a long, long, long, long road until I get there.  Writing.  I remember back when I was 14 and I was swept up into the enthusiasm Mrs. Farrell brought about with her encouragement.  I was going to be the next Tolkien.  I knew I would be.  Now look at me, I'm 30 (no sympathy please because I honestly don't mind it at all) and I'm stilling whining about how much further I have to go.

Well, at least I finished the book...mostly.  On Fan Story I've been getting good reviews with great pointers and help from the peanut gallery (and I do mean it in the nicest of ways, honest).  And these are complete strangers who have no affiliation with me personally other than a love for the written word so that's something.  It can't be all bad.  And people tell me that they are writing my name down when I give them a brief synopsis of the book so that when it does get published they'll buy it.  We'll see how many actually do so when it does happen.

I have decided to start thinking of it as when instead of if.  I made that decision because I figured my semi-pessimistic attitude was getting in my way.  That conclusion came about from AJJE Games surprisingly enough.  How did it happen?  Easy.  I had to give a speech (actually it was a long post) and in it I talked about a gentleman who taught me that idealism can push projects through.  That got me thinking about that particular lesson. 

I'm the first to admit, I don't prescribe to idealism.  Too many things in my life have shown me that being idealistic just disappoints you.  I could give examples, but I'm feeling pretty darn good about my progress that I don't want to go down that avenue.  Maybe later..naw, on second thought never mind.

Anyway, as I get older I am coming to the terms to the reality of how I look at life.  I'm cynical, but not overly much.  I'm not one to trust people either.  I actually, to be perfectly honest, I expect people to disappoint me all the time.  Why?  Because it consistently happens.  I've yet to find the exception.  If I do I'll probably put it here.  But I started thinking that maybe, just maybe, I have to let go of that attitude.  Oh, I don't mean actually trusting everyone that I come across.  That's too ingrained to just fade away on a gust of wind.  No, sadly, I'm stuck in that principle belief pattern.  However, I need to give myself and fate a try.  I think, just once, I want something to be the ideal instead of the disappointment or reality...which is often both anyway.

So, today...or more aptly, this night, I make a vow.  I will think positively.  I will shoot not just for the moon but for my favorite planet (okay, they don't call it a planet any more but I'm going to keep doing it because it's special to me personally so pppppbbtttttttttt) Pluto.  I want the cosmos and frankly my dear, I don't give a damn about anyone who says that I don't deserve it.

And that is how I nailed it in regard to my letter.  I said that to myself and then I just wrote it up.  I've been saying it all week with my writing and managed to crank through about 8 chapters so far.  Tomorrow I'm aiming for 9.  That, incidentally, is the other secret of my success.  Every day I have to complete a task.  Read over at least 5000 words and do my thing.  If I don't get it done in the morning, I work on it through the day.  Period, no if, and, or buts.

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